


Used to complicate...

by creativwritingmind



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, M/M, safe story to feel good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-15 11:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10555880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativwritingmind/pseuds/creativwritingmind
Summary: Love is supposed to be complicated but sometimes everything is Just easy...Sweet Story about a seldom shipStarring Tyler being a great best friend





	1. Chapter 1

Late night activities where fun, that was something people could be convinced of or not. Tyler happened to be more the < stick to my bed > person and it hadn't become any better since Jenna and him where practically attached by the hip. Josh couldn'T blame his friend for that, if he would have had someone to be with he might have skipped his late night activities as well, but given his period single life he needed to distract himself from the fact that the hotel beds sheets stayed cold beside him. From time to time he found companions in the crew, but this particular evening no one had been fod of the idea to join in the hotels roof pool. 

Running through the natural hierachy of own crew members he started to switch to the next list oft possible fellows and knocked determined on the door of their support act. Jon answere pretty quick given the time and looked only mildly surprised when his gaze fell at the drummer, standing in the hallway in his bathing trunks, a towel thrown over his shoulder. "Hey man, wanna go swimming with me?" Tilting his head a bit to the side the singer furrowed his brow. "Isn't it a bit late for that?" "You only live once!" Josh gave back cheering and earned a chuckle. 

"Seen from this perspective...ok, give me a minute, right?" Retreating into the room, leaving the door open, Jon went to search for his own bath trousers, while the drummer strolled into the room and sat down on the bed. "Aren't you supposed to pull off such things with Tyler?" the younger threw at him while he pulled out the trunks and started to unbuckle his belt. It wasn't all to strange to change in presence of another person, they did it a lot on tour, but realising that he had to get naked Jon blushed a bit and turned to move to the bathroom, left the door open so to block the sight but not the sound. 

"Nah, Tyler's not really very experimental. And I guess at the moment he's pretty occupied." Leaving the bathroom the singer leaned on the doorframe for a moment, smirking. "They are totally into each other, aren't they? I've seen Jenna watching him perform...one day she'll do him right on stage." Feeling heat rising into his cheeks Josh was not sure if it was the comment or the sight that made him feel dizzy, what was a total new discovery and left him stunned. "Well, there are approximittly thousands of woman out there who would too." he gave back casual, letting his gaze drop a bit, only to rise it in an instant again. "Oh, believe me," Jon answered, pulling a towel out of his bag. "Not only girls! There are enough guys who'd totally not push him off the bed." 

Josh had never been all to good with awkward social situations, mostly because normally he was in the center of it, so it was maybe a littlebit rude to ask that directly, still his question didn't seem to upset the other. "Would you want to do him?" Smiling in a weired way Jon fixed him with his gaze then, picked up his keycard from the nightstand. "Totally. Tyler is a really hot dude." Walking towards the startled drummer he stopped beside him and nodded in direction of the door. "Shall we go?" 

xxxx

The water was warm and the sight more then beautiful, one of the many benefits that came with playing sold out arenas. Jon decided that coming up here had been an brilliant idea as he let himself float through the pool, surrounded by the lights of the city. The older couple that had been there when they arrived where long gone and for a while the singer had settled on watching Josh working out the rest of his energy by doing fast laps, trying not to look at the way the drummers muscels clenched too much. 

The older had become silent after his practically coming out, and Jon didn't knew where to file the reaction. At least Josh didn't run, but it didn't seem like he was all to pleased about it either. Of course Jon had not expected him ever to reproduce his own interest, but he had hoped for acceptance and a possible frienship. Slowly inhaling, feeling his body lifted with the power of the air that filled his lungs the singer did not move from his position, stayed outstreched on his back as he felt he water move beside him, small waves crashing against his form. Feeling every move Josh did beside him he closed his eyes and listen to the tickle of the water. 

"So...you are gay?" the drummer asked quietly, not surprising but still earlier then the younger had expected. Huffing out the breath, letting his feet sink to the ground and his body straigthen up in the water Jon came to eye level with the other then. They were in deep water, so both of them had to move their limps lightly to not drown. "You're pretty straight foreward, aren't you?" he gave back, maybe a little more playfully then he had originally intended. "And no, I'm not. I'm bi. I had girlfriends in the past and I don't excluse the possibility of having one again." "What about the boys?" Letting a grin spread on his face Jon turned then, started to swim while throwing over his shoulder. "Nosey too, hm?" 

Keeping up with him the drummer followed to the shallow side of the pool until he stopped, took a stance and turned again. Maybe it was the sudden halt he came too, maybe intention, but Josh stopped a lot closer to him then necessary. Only few inches of water floating between them Jon tried to ignore the trembling rising inside him. "Why do you wanna know?" he asked, being torn between reaching out and touching the older and making a step back to give them both more space. The drummer shrugged, his face nothing more then honest. "I'm curious. I just never...tried that. And I never got the possibility to ask someone who tried. So..." 

Licking his lips slightly Jon pondered if the risk was worth the price. He knew from their few weeks of touring that the other was a very open minded, trustable person. At the same time he was not entire sure if Josh knew what he was calling for. This screamed too much off solitude and a one time try out to be reasonable. Closing his eyes for a second before fixing the older again Jon exhaled. "To be honest, Joshua..." he started in a very low voice, barely registering the shudder that ran through the older, "I'd love to tell you that it's hard to describe and I could show you instead. I'd love to kiss you right now and pull you closer and make out with you, and boy, I surely would love to take you up to my room and make you blush even more then you already do..." 

Smiling at the small laugh that escaped the drummers lips then and eased the awkward tension he got on: "...but I know you would regret it. If you're interested...if you honestly want to know how it feels...give this time." Slowly letting his hands dive between them and find the others, interlacing their fingers, Jon leaned foreward and blew a soft kiss on the olders cheek. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They took it slow from there, small steps at a time. For days there were not more then lingering touches on arms, maybe a hug in the morning, yet Tyler immediatly picked up on it. Hastly pulling his hand out of Jons under the table of a fast food restaurant they happend to have lunch in, Josh realised that as his friend starred grinning back and forth between the two of them. Feeling the blush rising up the drummer pushed his seat back and got up, mumbled something incoherent about the bathroom and wanted to leave, only to be stopped in his plans by Tyler exclaming that he'd merely accompony him. 

Grinding his teeth Josh let the way then, pulled his zipper open and hoped that the unwritten law of no talk while peeing had also power over the one and only Tyler Joseph. Of course it had not. "So...what was that back there?" The singer asked, shooting him a side glance. "Tyler, I'm pissing." "Oh come on, you can fake Mark out with that, I've seen your dick often enough." Chocking on his own spit Josh caughed at that, and had to fight even more for air at the next sentence. "How about Jon, has he seen it already?" "Dude!" Grinning satisfied the younger stepped back and zipped up, turned to the sinks. "What? Man, I know you and your goofy smile when you into someone. And since days you practically don't leave his side." Drying of his hands, leaning on the wall beside him as the drummer came to wash his own hands Tyler sighed.

"Hey, you know I wouldn't have a problem with it, right? It's just...normally you talk to me if you're into someone. And now I can see you falling for a person and I don't know what's going on. It worries me, ok?" Realising the meaning behind the words of the younger Josh turned and pulled him into a hug that was answered in no time. "Thank you! You know that means a lot, right?" "You're my best friend...whoever makes you happy is fine for me. So...what's the deal about it?" "We're keeping it slow." "You have to, you're heathens." "Idiot!" "That was too easy." Laughing both of them pulled back and looked at each other. "We should probably go." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tyler was a littlebit too overacting in his claim to throw Josh out of the bus so he and Jenna could have some alone time. Josh knew that it was just halfway a cover up for him and Jon to spend the evening together, the other half was that Jenna needed attention too, but he was still gratefull for it, although his legs shaked as he walked over to the singers bus. Jon had already waited for him as it turned out, his crewmates luckily all gone out, the bus covered in layers of silence. Entering nervous the drummer feeled his heart doing a double beat as Jon stood up and walked over to him, loosly slinging his arms around his waist, leaving a small peck on his cheek. "Hey." Jon stated, soft and carefull. 

Not wanting to fill the cliche conversation Josh didn't reply, but smiled and leaned foreward, lowering his head to the others shoulder, breathing in his scent. "Are you up for a movie?" Jon got on, his hands running a little higher on the others back, increasing the pressure between them. "Totally. What are we going to see?" Stepping back the singer let him to the back of the bus then, where a studio similar to their own were situated. Once they were both in Jon closed the door and turned the lock, answering the questioning glance of the older with a smirk. After setting up the TV and starting the DVD Jon took place at the couch, not waiting a beat to reach his hand out to the other. 

"Come here.." he whispered, more broken then he had intended, with more need in it then he had wanted to shown. He could tell Josh was nervous, frightened even by the way the drummer slowly scooted closer, sat down beside him but didn't touch him right away. Jon knew that he himself had been the one to insist on taking this slowly. But somehow this night he felt different...more lost, more lonely then he had been in a long time. The daily grind of touring got to him and he yearned for something to fuel his energy on. This was why he reached out, slung his arm around the olders shoulder and pulled him into his chest. 

Josh went stiff for a second, but relaxed once he got that the singer just shifted them into a more comfortable position, both of them lying down, Jon on his back, the older half on top of him. It wasn't a strange gesture at least to the drummer, he had spent a lot of nights like this with Tyler, but always on the lack of space, never in the need to feel closeness. It was a totally different thing, he learned fast. While cuddling up to his best friend had made him feel comfortable, calm, secure, beeing this close to Jon worked him up internally. Not knowing where to put his hands he crossed them on the others chest, laying his head on them, feeling Jons body fall and rise beneath him.

They were halfway through the film when the drummer started to feel the calmness taking him over. Suddenly it didn't felt so new, so agitating anymore to be that close to Jon. It felt nice, intimate, and so he didn't mind when the singer started to move his hands over his back slowly, just touching with no real order, no real destination behind it. Propping his chin on his folded hands so he could face him Josh looked down at the younger, who kept his eyes on the screen although he had gotten the movement. It was a first that Josh let himself observe the other so openly, from an angle that revealed more then what was to see if they kept proper personal distance. 

Jons beard was shorter groomed now then it had been at the beginning of their tour, yet it bordered his soft swung lips with a dark shadow, running up to his hairline, framing his face, his kind eyes. Striken with the sudden awareness how beautiful the younger was to him Josh gasped surprised, finally getting the whole attention of the boy he was starring at. Turning his head, glancing back up at him Jon lifted his hand, let his fingers run along the temple of the other, the slight wrinkles that had appeared on his front. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, smilingly, letting his eyes flicker over all the details of the olders face, drinking in the sight of him so close.

While tracing the hairline in Joshs neck with his fingertipps Jon patiently waited for the drummer to find his words. "It's just...I've never been attracted to a guy before. But you...you're so different. You're beautiful." Blushing on the compliment leaving his lips Josh tended to hide his face, burried it in the others chest that was filled with an vibrating chuckle on that. A soft kiss, placed on his head coaxed the drummer to lift his face again, only to be greated with the same warm smile as before and a certain sparkle in the youngers eyes. "You don't have to feel awkward about it. I think the same way of you." Jon gave back, his heart clenching a little on the shudder that ran through the others form then. 

There had been no preset beat to this, so the singer just let himself being carried by the waves of energy between them as he leaned in a bit and let their lips touch, for the first time, just lightly, just a second that meant more then any hour could have. Josh closed his eyes as he did so and kept them closed after he drew back, his hand still lingering in the olders neck, his whole senses justified to read the drummers body language, to learn if he was still ok with this too. Gladly he felt the other relax, exhale, and saw him open his eyes again. Withing seconds the tables turned and Jon was the one who's breath was taken away as the older sucked in his bottom lip and shyly bit on it, before looking up at him through his lashes. "Can we..." breaking his sentence, clearly still too overwhelmed by that all Josh took a second to breath again before he repeated. "Can we...more?"

Still Jon was not sure about how good of an idea was if they crossed a certain line. Still Josh was too much running on adrenalin, on emotional hights then on serious soul decissions, but having him this close, being able to feel, smell, sense him just overran the borders he had secretly set. Laying one arm across the drummers hip, the other across his shoulders he flipped them so they layed side by side, faced each other, feet naturally tangling in place on the small couch. A woman screamed on the TV behind him while aliens abducted her baby, still Jon couldn't think of a better moment for this then the half-darkness of this little room, seperated from a world that asked too much questions.

A sigh, nearly a sob escaped him as he did the final step, pulled Josh in and let it happen. The pressure of his lips were harder now, more demanding, movement adding to it. Jon explored the texture of the olders mouth, the lines along it, the small bulb with his own before he cautiously let side his hands more in place, on of them gripping into the drummers hair, the other slowly slipping under the fabric of his shirt. Cold fingertips running along his spine Josh shuddered beside him, but pulled him still closer with his own hand between the singers shoulderblates, the other on his hip. With all might he could find Jon held back from pinning the drummer and launching at him as he felt Joshs tongue running along his button lip. 

Against all the curses his mind threw at him he opened his mouth then and let the older deepen the kiss, let himself go with the moment and enjoy the effects his dancing tongue had on the other. Josh was falling, grasping at him as if his life depended on it. Too well the singer could remember that feeling, that state of mind, when he had first kissed another man. It had been mind blowing and terrifying at the same time and he made sure to keep their pace slow the more he felt the drummers brain catch up to his actions. After only a few minutes Josh was practically a panting mess and a little out of his mind, heated up by the moment. Pushing him back then a little and connect their foreheads again Jon stroked the sides of his head, holding him into place, drinking in the gasps the older gave.

"Listen, I think I'm starting to fall for you and that's why I can't go any further then this." he filled the little space between them with consumed air, watching Josh sucking it up in a surprised hitch. "I can't take advantage of the fact that you are just lonely, Joshua. You've said it yourself...you never where attracted to a guy before, and hey, I've seen you cuddle Tyler. If he never sparked something in you...why should I out of a sudden." Jon flinched as the drummers hands, that had layed useless to his side came to life and run up his back, linked over his shoulders. Closing the gap between them, attaching them with a scary familiar motion Josh wiped away all his doubts in an instant. 

The kiss was slower, yet deeper this time, if it was even possible for them to get any closer. "What does it take for you to trust me?" the drummer blew the question on his lips before he leaned back, focused him. Jon felt like it might have been the worst idea ever. Still he broke with his self set rule to not let Josh get too attached with him. "No games. No hiding. No lying if we are asked. I don't need you to run on stage naked with a pride flag around your neck, but I will not take any bullshit about us just being friends in front of the cameras or something. If you want this, Josh, you need to be commited to it. I can't be your little adventure, something you wanna try out for some time. It would brake my heart." 

He didn't had to wait all to long in silence, and the older choose his words well: "That's very little to ask, to be true." Feeling his face split into a grin and his joy taking over Jon finally let his soul take over and he flipped them again, effectivly pinning the older under him. "Well, in this case..." leaning down and tilting his head a bit, "I think I'm going to kiss you sensless now."


	2. Chapter 2

Holding hands when they were with the crew had quickly become a habbit from day one. Sharing kisses had taken Josh at least a week to settle with, the whistles of his dork friends on it not really helping. Yet they kept their official encounters short and their inofficial ones PG as Jon insisted. The fact he wanted to lead a relationship with the older didn't mean that he wasn't still aware of the fact that everything they did was a first to Josh and needed to be planned out. What eased a lot of tension were Tyler being a great friend. Not only that he kicked the shins of dozens of people who attempted to make comments, he included them into the everyday tourlife as a couple just as much as he had with each of them single before. 

That's how they ended up at a movie night in Joshs bus with Jenna and Jon cooking while Tyler raced his friend in mario kart. After enjoying the meal they started the film, and Tyler lay down on the banket fort on the floor he had built, pulling his wife into him, burrying his face in the skin of her neck. Jenna sligthly grunted and shoved a handfull of popcorn in her mouth, attention fixed to the screen. Josh wasn't entire sure how to handle the situation. The two of them had been the persons to see most of the affections Jon and him shared beside others, but yet all of this was unknown territory. Whenever he had spent time with the couple like this Tyler had never hesitated to nibble on his wifes neck or let his hands run up and down her sides, building pressure that he presumably released later when they were alone. 

Yet the drummer hesitated a bit to be so loosly around his best friend. Tyler had done a great job in overcoming his education, but Josh was not entirely sure he would go along with too much homo-action around him. Sensing his internal fight Jon brought the solution to him then, without letting him a back up plan as he pulled him in with a strong grip so the drummers back came to lay on his chest. Resting his hands on Joshs thigths the singer asked something random about the movie, his boyfriend starting to sweat as he saw Tylers head turn slowly, meeting them. For the blink of an eye he seemed startled, then he answered the question and smiled at them, before turning his focus in annoying Jenna with breathing along her shoulder.

Releasing a breath he hadn't even realised holding Josh turned his head a little upwards then, kissing the youngers jaw. "What was that for?" Jon whispered into his ear, humming lightly at the second peck. "Not hating me for being dumb." "Sush." They watched in silence then, although nobody but Jenna really followed the movie, and even she shifted at the half of it and gave in to Tylers attempts to make her kiss him. The couple quickly excused themselfs as the credits were rolling and Jon winked at Tyler as they passed him by, giving the other singer a high five. Looking at him with an raised eyebrow Josh had sat up in between his legs and turned, faced him now, his own feet resting at the youngers sides. "What?" Jon shrugged, coming aware of his confusion. "Tyler is a cool bro!" 

"Oh...now he is cool of a sudden? Didn't you tell me he's hot before you even kissed me?" the drummer threw at him playfully, linking his arms around his neck. Giving him a boyish grin Jon propped his ellbows on the others knees, let his hands linger dangerously high up his thight. "Well...seen from a universal perspective he's hot, seen from my personal one you're hotter." Smirking controlled on that Josh dived in and kissed him, roughly, harder, like they used to in the past few days. The singer had found that once his boy loosend up and felt secure about certain things they did Josh tended to take controll, dominate the event. 

Jon saw no problem in that, as long as he was able to set the pace and keep the older in the reigns of their agreement to be slow with each other. "We should...move or something." the drummer panted against his lips as he pulled away for air, clearly in a rush of the ongoing tension between them. "Nah," Jon shook his head lightly, "they are not coming back, believe me! Tyler worked her up for about an hour, I'm sure he'll take his time to take advantage of that for at least the similar amount of time." "Hm," humming and placing another, but short, tongueless kiss on his lips Josh leaned in again. "YOU worked ME up all the time to. So...what are you going to do about it?" He was even more coy then he had been since their sessions got more heated, and Jon admired the way the older pushed past his insecurities. They hadn't even been able to talk about intimacy in a sexual way as Josh had been highly uncomfortable with it, so it was stunning to see him so hostile about it. 

"I don't know...I could..." grabbing the drummers waist and pulling him in so he came to actually sit fully in his lap Jon smiled up at him, savouring the way Joshs breath got irregular as he pushed his hips up a bit, just slightly, just to create a little friction for both of them. Words were lost in between their kisses then for a moment and Jon bravely did not only slid his hands under the others shirt but actually lifted it and battled it off the olders body as Josh got the hint and lifted his arms. Attaching his lips to him immidiatly again the singer let his hands roam slowly, mapping the other curves and edges for the first time. They had never gone anywhere more far then this, there had never been cloathes shed and it felt strangely intense for being < just a little make out >.

Jon couldn't help but shudder as his boyfriend reprodicated his action and got rid of his shirt, both of them slightly gasping as their bare chests were pressed up to each other. That was when the younger felt Joshs confidence faltering. He started to tremble, a familiar sign by now, got sloppy and unsure in his movements. Without thinking twice Jon took lead on the situation, pushed him back and down, until his back hit the couch and hovered himself over the boy, leaving enough space between them to not scare him away. Giving Josh a long, meaningfull kiss he broke away from his lips then, slowly making his way down the others jawline, his neck, to his shoulders. 

Josh felt the youngers hands slid in his and link their fingers, give him something to hold on, as Jon started to leave kisses on his chest, exploring, caring. The singer was running on pure instinct now, timing his pace and direction on the small squeezes of the others fingers, sensing where he went to fast, where he could linger. Already kind of a shaking mass Josh lost the ability to hold back it seemed then, as soft moans escaped his mouth when the singer bravely let his tongue trace one of his nipples. Giving him a moment for admiration Jon pushed himself up a bit then again, whincing on the noise the older made as he grinded his hips down on him in the action, and feeling his heart clench on the sight in front of him. 

Already halfway gone Josh starred at him bewildered, anxious, still curious and with anticipation. He could feel him shake and pant, probably feeling the intensity of this moment even more then he himself did, if this was even possible. There was nothing more Jon wanted to do then connect them, be already as close as possible, melt together as one, still he invoked himself to be patient. Josh trusted him and he would not be the one to take advantage of that. Lowering his lips to the olders ear, playing with the shell of it he whispered: "I want you just to relax and feel, ok? Just lay down and let go." The drummer obliged with a whimper, his hands finding the way into the youngers neck. Leaving one last kiss to his mouth Jon went down then to show him how much he really was adored.

Later, when Josh layed on his chest, feeling unbelieveable vulnarable and protected at the same time, Jon couldn't stop to trace his body with his fingertips, observing the small shivers occuring wherever he went. "Why don't you let me make it up to you?" the drummer asked quietly, already being pulled down by sleep. "Nah," Jon smiled, burrying his nose in the other mans hair, inhaling deeply while pulling him even closer, "we'll have enough time for that. I don't plan to ever let you go." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The morning was golden, in every way. Not only the suns soft rays where dimmed in a dark yellow, the sight of Joshs peacefull face, lips slightly parted were what Jon wanted to wake up to all his life. Feeling his neck complain about the fact that they had spent the night on an uncomfortable couch Jon shifted a bit under the cover that he had thrown over them, jumping on a sudden sound from the kitchen area behind him. Turning over cautiously, so he didn't wake up the drummer, Jon got sight of Tyler then, who appearently where trying to make coffee and had let a spoon fall. Mouthing a silent "I'm sorry!" he hinted at a mug, suggesting Jon to join him on the outside. Slowly entangling himself from his lover, making sure that Josh was wrapped up in the blanket Jon followed him then, accepting the steaming hot coffe as they stood on the outside of the bus together. 

The morning air was fresh, yet the upcoming sun started to warm it up an accomponie the sound of the world slowly awakening around them. Jon had known that this talk would come sooner or later and he had well prepared himself for it. That was why he wasn't surprised the slightest as Tyler cleared his throat and stated: "So, you and Josh, hm?" Taking a sip from the coffee Jon shrugged lightly, trying not to give his amusement away. "Yap. Me and him. Got a problem with it?" Tyler scoffed a little, but leaned back relaxed on the bus, one hand in the pocket of his sweater, the other holding the mug. "If I would have you'd know already." Giving up his mascerade, turning his serious face into a warm smile Jon chuckled. 

"Yeah, I sensed that. And I appreciate it. You're being a great friend to him, Tyler." "I try my best. Although...I hope you are aware that I'm watching you, you know?" Giving the only answer that was right to give on that Jon looked him dead in the eye, never stopping his smile. "I love him, Ty." Nodding satisfied, turning his attention to the beauty of the upcoming sun the other sighed. "Good. Just...don't hurt him, ok?" 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

One of the many things John learned about Josh in the following days was how touchy he got once they had crossed a certain border of intimacy. While he appreciated the way the drummer cornered him from time to time for kisses or just layed his head on his lap when they were resting, leaving him to play with his hair, it brought new challenges with it. Their crew had already been registering what was going on between them, though nobody asked as Tyler made sure. That Josh didn't hid his affection altogether now anymore made other people notice it too. 

So Jon couldn't help to get a littlebit uneasy as he soundchecked his microphone and observed Tyler talking to a reporter down in the empty pit, and suddenly felt strong arms sliding around his waist, a warm breath being pushed into his neck. "Boy, I'm working!" he tried to wriggle himself free playfully, but the drummer just thigthened his grip on him and left a small bite in his neck, like a warning not to break away. "I like the way you work it." Josh smirked into his skin and Jon did his best not to laugh at the bad reference. "Josh, honestly, there are people." 

The feeling that occured in his stomach as the older answered were not the light brush of thiousand butterflies. It where all bombs of the world going off in a sudden. "I don't care the slightest." Josh whispered into his ear, turning him around and kissing him in an unmistakenable way. Glancing down to the pit out of the corner of his eye Jon was glad to see that Tyler had caught on what they were doing on stage and distracted the journalist by walking in the oposite direction, to the dressrooms. Relaxing into the kiss now the singer let it endure for a few minutes before he slightly pushed his boyfriend back at the shoulders. 

"Joshua, I think we should slow down a little in public." he said out of a sudden, getting exactly the reaction he had expected. Taking a step back, letting his hands fall to his sides Josh tilted his head. "Hey, you were the one telling me there are no games, right?" "And I'm still that opinion...it's just...shouldn't we tell your family first? I mean...unless you want your mom to learn through twitter." Seeing the older pale completly Jon understood that he had hit a nerv then. Until this moment the drummer had sucessfully blocked out the thought about his family, and now it hit him full force. Pressing his lips to a thin line he retreated even more, although Jon reached out to take his hands. "You're right. I should...I need to think about this first." 

Watching him turn and leave the stage the singer wanted to give into the impulse to follow him for a moment, but his experience told him of a better. Some things in this special matter where for Josh to pull through alone, some things he had to sort out without his help. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Watching Jon perform felt different that day, maybe because Josh never had payed a lot of attention on the singers movements before. Now he couldn't help but recognise how well educated his boyfriends body played along with the music he wrote, how mesmerizing the way he moved his hands and feet were. They hadn't talked since the incident in the afternoon, Josh being gratefull that the younger ave him the space he needed, and even if they hadn't been really appart he strongly missed him. It was scary as he had never been that attached to a person, not even Tyler. As much as it had hurted, Josh had asked himsef if this was worth to upset his family, because it surely would. 

He had tried to see things from a sober, clinical perspective and yet the same answer came onto him again and again: Yes, definitly. Jon had taken his heart in no time, had made him feel comfortable so quick that he didn't even remember a time without him and Josh couldn't wait for tonights show ending to tell him how he felt. Right now, in this moment, he were limited to stare at him, feeling warmth rising whenever Jon rushed his place by, locked eyes with him standing in front of the barricade. Josh knew his set by now and where pretty surprised to hear tunes of a song he didn't know starting, one he hadn't registered until then. 

The stage going all dark a simpe synthesizer filled the room, mirroring a liquid sound that carried his soft voice as Jon started to sing. 

 

Way before you came I was hollow, hollow, hollow  
Used to complicate now I'm alright, alright, I'm fine  
All I gotta do now is follow, follow, follow  
Used to complicate now I'm alright, alright, I'm fine

The spot highlighted Jon then, standing in the middle of the stage, with his eyes closed, both of his hands slung around the microphone on it's stand. Being drawn in by the magnitising sight Josh gasped a little, glad that the volume of the music covered it. Still Jon didn't move but opened his eyes, coloured lights now dancing around him.

You don't need no big production  
The synth and just my voice is fine... Yeah  
You don't need to wear your makeup  
Oh na na  
No need to mess with God's design,   
you're just so simple and sweet

It might have been really cheesy to say, but when the singer finally turned and started to dance to the insetting beat Josh realised that he loved him, not only liked, been attracted too, but were really loving him. Their gazes crossing and locking again as Jon sang the final words of his show felt like a unspoken commitment to both, a silent promise, given in the presence of thousands. 

But if things get complicated  
Don't worry we gonna take it slow  
We keep it simple and sweet


	3. Chapter 3

"Please just tell me it's not Tyler!" Feeling a littlebit hurt on his mothers plead Josh braced to throw a harsh comment her way when he suddenly understood the fact that she was more bothered by the thought of him being in love with a married man then with the one of him being in love with a man at all. "No, it's not Ty." "Oh, thank god!" she sighed dramatically and as hard as he tried Josh couldn't even hold it against her, as everyone knew what a romance between him and his best friend would have meant to their carrer and personal lifes. His father though said nothing, starred straight ahead, and Josh hated the way his own voice dangled when he adressed him. "Dad? Do you remember when you once told me you're proud of me for the character I got? I hope this won't change your opinion." 

Still not looking at him, but grabbing his hand across the table and squeezing it hard Bill cleared his throat. "Son, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I'm pleased about it. But you know that I love you, and I am proud of you, no matter who you choose to love." "So...who is it?" his mother chirmed in from aside, breaking the heave tension between them. Letting his gaze drop to the desk, sighing assuaged Josh felt his smile returning to his face. "It's Jon." "Bellion? Jonathan?" his mother asked, the worried lines on her face straightening a bit. "Yeah." "When do you bring him in?" 

Uneasy the drummer started to squirm a bit in his seat. "Mom, I'm not sure if this is a good..." "Oh, hush, of course it is an good idea! Joshua, if he is important enough for you to come here and tell us about him I want to get to know him as soon as possible. Where is he right now?" Overwhelmed by the moment, looking at his father for help but just finding him shrugging Josh started to mumble "He's staying with me at Tylers house but..." "How perfect!" his mother shrieked, clapping her hands together and then pointing her index finger at him. "Dinner this evening and family time tomorrow afternoon and don't you dare to say no!" she threatened, before she sprung up and left into the kitchen, stopping in the hallway to add an "And bring Tyler and Jen!" to it. 

With a slight amused smile around his lips Joshs father leaned back and crossed his hands behind his head. "So, who is this Jon-guy?" "Dad...please just don't!" Still keeping his poker face Bill shrugged. "What? I'm just asking!" Glarring at him Josh knew he was fucked the moment his father started to grin on his reply. "Don't try to roast him, he's not one of Abigailes odd high school boys." 

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Fixing the top bottom of his white shirt Jon gave himself an overall look in the mirror, not sure if he could get away like this. He knew how important his family was to Josh and even if they were used to a lot of things regarding to tattoos and other body ornaments he felt like his tattoed chest was a bit exzessiv. As looking not too formal he had added some simple jeans to it, nothing fancy, but the singer felt immediatly overdressed as his boyfriend stumbled into the room, his best friend plus wift in tow line. Tyler wore at least a buttom up shirt, although it's crazy pattern screamed for eyecancer. Jenna showed a lovely summer dress, her blue eyes lightning up under a white classic hat. It where Josh who looked somehow like he had just fallen out of bed, with his hair tugged messy under a reversed cap, his black Tshirt of god knew which band and holes in the knees of his jeans that slowly started to expand upwards, not to mention his worn out sneakers.

Quirking his brow Jon couldn't help but give a dry: "You look...interesting?" only to be met with casualness. "We're going to my parents. Nothing special, right?" Exchanging a quick glance with Tyler who could also not do more then shrug Jon nodded slightly and stepped beside him, taking his hand and interlacing their fingers. "Alright then, let's go." Once again Tyler and Jenna prooved of how good of friends they were. All the ride they chatted idly on the backseat with each other while Josh gripped the steering wheel hard and concentrated on the street, Jon watching him silently from aside. Getting a glimpse of the couple on the backseat growing silent, but otherwise distracted, the singer reached out and placed his hand at the olders knee, earning a side glance. 

"They already said they are ok with it, so what can go wrong?" Nervously laughing Josh let fall his hand down and covered the one on his foot. "I'm not afraid of their reaction. It's just...this is making it a whole lot more real...you know...taking you home." "It's changing, right? We're getting serious." Josh hummed at this, steering the car with his free hand, stroking his boyfriends fingers with the other. "Do you wanna back out?" Jon asked, out of nowhere, making the slight gasp Jenna did on the backseat on whatever magic Tyler was playing at her insignificant. 

The pair the broke appart, feeling caught as the car slowed down in a rush, were steered to the side of the road. Reliefed they soon found that the cause for the sudden halt had not been their heated up action. Josh unbuckled his belt, climbed across the middle and straddled Jon in the passengers seat, kissing him deep and hard and, like Tyler told him later, pretty punk rock, exclaiming: "I couldn't even back up on you if I wanted." before diving in again. 

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"So, you're born in New York, Jonathan?" "Yea mam, born and raised there." "Oh, please, call me Laura!" Shifting his vegatables from the left to the right side of his plate Josh nervously bounced his knee under the table until Tyler had the mercy to lay his hand on it and force his friends leg to keep still. It was going good so far, Joshs mother and sisters had been practically melting as Jon handed them all flowers, his father approved the bottle of old scotch with a nod. The common interrogation had started while they were eating and at least Jenna and Tyler enjoyed the sight much, still remembering their own first-parents-meeting way to vividly. 

"Are you still living there?" Joshs mother pried further and Jon gave her a warm smile. "When I'm not on tour yes, but that happens less lately." "New York is pretty far from LA." Bill dropped, sporting his slightly grumpy demanour that at least Josh and Tyler knew where just a mask, he used to do that with all of his childrens partners. Not taking up the challenge Jon handled the situation better then his boyfriend who glared at his dad, smirking lightly, telling the older man that Ohio was pretty much in the middle. "Maybe Joshua will come home more if we meet up here." he added in Lauras direction, who gave back his wink amused. 

Getting the mischievous smile of his younger brother Josh realised too late what Jordan was up too and missed the chance to kick him under the desk as he turned to Jon and adressed him with the brigtest smile. "You know what's really interesting? Who's topping?" While Joshs knife fell on the plate, the drummer caughing on the piece of meat he'd been eating, Tyler bit his own shoulder to not brake out in laughter and Laura send a hissed "Jordan! Behave!" across the table. 

Only seconds later Joshs front hit the desk frustrated as his father added: "Whoever is, I hope you boys use protection!" what send Tyler over the edge and into full laughing fit, Josh into blushing hardly and Jon into deciding that he might had passed some kind of initiation ritual as Bill patted his shoulder and told him not to take the Dun family too serious. After Jenna had helped her husband back on his chair again and calmed him down the rest of the meal went in small talk manner, and if Josh couldn't stop his bright smile when Jon openly took his hand and played with his fingers while they waited for dessert, nobody could really judge him. 

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"Awwww...that's sweet, guys!" Tyler stated satisfied, handing Joshs' Iphone back to the drummer. Checking the picture he had taken of them kissing Josh smirked as Jon rested his chin on his shoulder to take a look too. "What do you think, should we take this one?" "Dude, no matter which one you'll take, this day will be known as the day Joshua William Dun broke the internet." his best friend half yelled from the other side of the dressing room, where he was painting his neck black for their performance. "He's right." Jon laughed lightly and pressed a quick kiss to his boyfriends cheek. "I gotta go now, entertain the kids. Just do me a favour and don't post it before I'm on stage, I don't wanna see the comments before I go up there." 

Nodding absently Josh had already started to create the tweet, but couldn't find the right words. Starring at his phone screen blankly he pondered how to tell the world about this. He was so catched in the task that he didn't recognise his best friend sitting down beside him, watching him for a while. "Hey." Tyler finally said, waiting for him to shift his attention. "Hm?" "Are you alright?" Sighing deeply Josh erased his current attempt of words and let his head fall to the side, resting on his best friends shoulder. "No. No I think I'm not." 

It was soothing to learn that nothing between them had changed, even if Tyler had retreated a lot to make space where Jon could fill in, but he didn't hesitate the slightest to wrap his arm around his friend. "It's normal to be afraid. Remember how nervous I was telling them about Jenna." "Excuse me, but that's not really the same." Sighing Tyler ruffled his friends hair a bit. "Ok, you're right, still...it's ok. It will be fine. And if not, I'm there. And Jenna. And Mark. And the whole crew. And..." "Alright, alright, I got it!" Sitting up again Josh snatched his phone and started to type away again, pausing to turn and grab the others hand for a moment. "Thank you for everything Ty. I mean...you know...everything, ok?" 

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@joshuadun

Life is complicated. I never thought that loving someone could be so easy. Here's to my dime piece of boyfriend...have fun on stage tonight!


	4. Chapter 4

Nothing, Josh decided, felt more like home like slipping into freshly washed covers after a shower, damp skin pressing up to another not all dry body. The firsts came a lot easier these days and Jon had also became less cautious, didn't treat their bond like it was breakable easy anymore. The drummer inhaled his scent happily as the younger pressed back into him, aligning their bodys, closing all distance in between. Josh couldn't help but moan a little against his neck as they fit together, Jons ass resting against his naked member. 

"I'm going to miss this so hard!" the older stated, snuggling his face into the singers hair. "We've never done that before!" Jon chuckled. "And I'm already addicted to it. See what you do to me?" was the muffled answer, lips tingling the side of his throath so he laughed out and shifted on his back. Josh now half hovering above him the singer searched the olders eyes. "It will be only three weeks. I'm coming back here as soon as I can." They both had known that once the tour was over they would have to part ways for some time unil their life sheduls were adjusted to their new situation, still the sudden end had caught both of them off guard a little. Lacking personal space and time there hadn't been the possibility to improve on a physical level and now it was hard to know that this was the last chance for a longer time. 

Jon had overthought that a lot in the past days, and had decided he didn't wanted to split from his boyfriend without having done this last final step. Enjoying the drummers mouth playing around his neck for some time the singer let a hand slip into the others hair and directed his lips to his own, kissing him deep, demanding. "Joshua..." he whispered, "I wanna...feel you." He could nearly feel the temperature drop a little, his boyfriend getting rigid above him. "I...woah...Jon...I don't know if I'm ready to..." "I want YOU to do ME." the singer cut him off, louder, clear, straight out. Starring at him with his mouth hanging open slightly Josh blinked one, two times. "This...I...oh...fuck it!" Jons laugh about this outburst where silenced by a demanding, rough, quiet wet kiss. "That was the idea, yeah." he answered chuckling as Josh let go of him for a second.

Feeling a bang in his chest as his boyfriend starred back at him, lightly blushing the singer didn't ever want to let that moment go. "You...you're aware I have not the slightest idea what I'm doing, right?" Josh yielded, avoiding his eyes. Pulling him closer, letting his hips roll up a bit to make their groins touch Jon grinned. "You're doing a pretty good job so far." Yet he could tell that this was not really the time for jokes so he kissed the older and once more for good before he stretched his arm and got something out of the nightstand. "Give me your hand." he ordered, taking the olders finger in his, slowly dripping some lube on them, splashing it. Josh watched him fascinated, attentive, and didn't let his eyes leave the youngers face as his hand where guided down. 

Still he had always been a fast learner and so it were only seconds before Jon let go of his wrist and let his head fall back, giving a soft moan on the stretch. Cautious, reading the youngers movements Josh started to experiment then, changed angles, increased pressure and watched with wonder how his boyfriend fell appart under him in no time. Freezing in place as Jon suddenly caughed a "Stop!" his insecruities took over like a wave crashing down. "Shit, did I hurt you?" "No," gripping his neck, pulling him down to connect their lips Jon panted in his mouth, "no, you're doing so good, believe me...I just don't want this to end before it even begins. I'm ready." 

"Ok, so you'll tell me if I do something wrong. I don't want this to..." "Joshua." "Yeah?" "Stop rambling. Start fucking me." 

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Shaking their heads on them the people at the crossroad shifted around them as Cynthia jumped into her best friends arms and placed a smack at his front. "Johnnnyyyyyyy!" she yelled happily, hugging him thight, only letting go when he demanded to breath. Setting the small woman down slowly Jon couldn't help but smile wide at her attack. Cynthia had always been close to his heart, from the day the met in school through the failed attempt of a relationship to the good times when she got married and the hard when she got divorced. Not seeing her for such a long time had been hard, although Jon just realised how much he had been distracted.

Settling down in a coffee nearby then Cynthia didn't wait a minute to assail him over his current state of relationship. "Joshua Dun? I mean, really? Do you know how many girls hearts you have broken with that? Karma is going to come and get you!" Laughing Jon leaned back and crossed his arms. "I'm serious Jon, you can't get away with snatching music worlds most hot single male. Someones gotta make you pay for that." "Hey, I'm hot too!" "Of course you are but he is fucking JOSH DUN!" Blushing at the glances the people from the desks around shot them Jon started to play with the tablecloath. "I know right? You've got no idea how hot he is in real life." 

Slurping on her caffe latte Cynthia raised a brow. "When am I going to learn?" She could feel the freshness of the goodby written all over Jons face as he sighed. "Well, that will take some time. I got do some production stuff over here and he's in the studio with Tyler in LA. We'll not being able to see each other for at least three weeks." Dissapprovingly the woman hummed. "We're living in the age of modern technology, boy! You even can fall asleep with him over facetime, so three weeks shouldn't be that hard." "I know, it's just..." letting the thoughts he had pushed down so long now slowly trickling into his mind Jon dimmed his voice. "I'm his first...well, you know...guy. We've been together 24/7 since we started dating and now it's the first time he get's kind of a breather. I'm just afraid now he got time to overthink this he maybe will learn that he's not...that I was just a tryout or something." 

Grunting at that, reaching for her phone as it chirmed with a notification Cynthia absently unlocked the screen while waiting for her friend to go on. Her face lightning up on what she saw she didn't let him a chance to fall deeper into his doubts then. "I don't think that will happen, Jonny. That boy is more then into you!" Handing him her phone she leaned back grinning, joy filling her soul on the way her best friends features changed. 

@joshuadun 

thread of things I love about my boy @jonbellion (one thing a day until we meet up again):

# 1 his aftershower hair

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Gripping his phone, quickly leaving his bedroom Tyler took the call with a paniced voice. "Josh? What's wrong?" He expected a cry of pain, heavy breathing, something terrible but where greated with the bored voice of his best friend. "Hey Ty! Nope, everything fine over here. How are you?" Letting his front hit the wall the singer sighed then. "Dude, it's 3 a.m. In Ohio!" "Yeah. I know." "Why the heck do you call me at 3 a.m.? I thought something happened!" The line was silent for some moments before Josh spoke again, sending Tyler into another sigh and letting him slip down to the floor, leaning his back on the wall. 

"I miss him." "And why do you tell ME that?" "He's asleep." "Well, fun fact, I was too!" "You're my best friend!" Growling Tyler facepalmed. "Sometimes I regret I ever said that." He could hear the older scoff at the other side of the line and waited for a reply but there were none. "Alright then," he said, in a former voice, "what's on your mind?" "I don't know...it's just...Jon is in New York. I mean...fricking Big Apple! He is out with his old friends a lot, which I understand, of course, but...what if he get's to know someone else? I'm not even there to fight for him, you understand?" Taking a glance through the half opened bedroomdoor, looking at the blonde beauty under his sheets Tyler nodded to himself. "I understand way too well. But you can chill, Josh. There's no such thing as competing to the drummer of fricking Twentyone Pilots! You're a legend, man." 

Chuckling Josh needed some minutes to answer that. "I just can't remember how it was before I met him. And I don't ever want to know how it would feel to be without him again." Despite being touched by the openess of his best friend Tyler gave a big yawn then. His day had been hard and he was expected to be at church in the morning, so he longed to get back to sleep again. "Well, that's love, my friend. And now stop worrying and go to bed! Only two weeks to go and it's not like one of you is going to die or something! Get yourself together Joshua!" "Ok, Daddy." "Man, if you ever call me that again I personally choke you to death." 

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Tyler regretted his words, he wanted to take them back so hard that it nearly knocked him out thinking about it. He was intimate with lifes irony, had experienced it often enough, still every time it left him stunning. A load of guilt piling up in his stomach, closing his throath made it hard to breath as he steered the car into the airport waiting area. He had arrived at LA five hours earlier then Jon, together with Laura, and had already been able to check up on his best friend. Josh was ok so far, his condition immideatly got better after they cut out his appendix, but the signs of near death were still written all over his face. 

If Jesse wouldn't have decided to visit the drummer...god knew what would have happened then. Leaning on the car, watching the neverending stream of passengers Tyler waited for the familiar face, unsure how to react, how to cope with Jon. He knew that he himself would be in shere panic if the same had happened with Jenna, but the singer had sounded pretty controlled when he learned. Also now, as he pushed through the people and came up to him Jon looked incredibly tired, but still wore a smile. "Hey Ty!" he greeted, pulling the older in a hug, sensing his trembing and not let go. "Hey...hey, it's alright. He's ok, you told me yourself!" 

That's when Tylers nervs snapped and he started to cry, hating himself for it, for being so illogical. It was Jon who nearly lost his love. Stroking the other singers back Joshs boyfriend just stood there, whispering soothing words until Tyler calmed down. "I just can't get rid of the picture of him lying there, in pain, all alone, nobody there..." he gave as an apology as he pulled back, whiping his nose with his sleeve. Jons face turned to stone then for a second, as he clearly knew what kind of vision Tyler was talking off. "That won't ever happen again. I'm making sure he'll never be alone again." Tilting his head, waiting for him to get on Tyler strangely felt some kind of gratitude for Jon doing what he never could. "Going back to New York was a mistake. I'm moving to LA. I belong here now. I belong to him."


	5. Chapter 5

"...dear Jonathan, happy Birthday to you!" ending in a cheer the part guests clapped, and Jon tried not to blush too hard as Laura and Ashley both placed kisses on his cheeks. Josh stood a little aside, wearing his signature smirk, enjoying not being the middle of attention for once. Blowing out the candles the singer forgot to place a wish, but was ok with it. He had already got everything he needed. After the others had slowly started to part into smaller groups, Tyler and Joshs families mixing up, Jon was glad to find the hand of his boyfriend in his own, tugging him up, leading him aside a bit. 

Sitting down on the couch together, the singer falling into the olders arms, they quietly sipped their drinks, watched the people around them interact. "I'm sorry your family isn't there for you." Josh let him know when the sadness started to radiate through him. "It doesn't matter. I got you." "Still...I wish they could see you the way I do." "You picture me naked half of the time." Nearly spitting out his drink Josh had to lean foreward as he chocked on laughter. "True fact." he croaked as he could breath again, smiling on the kiss he got to his nose. 

"No, honestly, Josh...back then, in that pool on that hotel roof...I thought you were playing. I'd never dreamed of you doing this," gesturing around Jon included the universe in general, "to me. I love you." Not that they wouldn't both had known that they were in love with each other, it was obvious to everyone, but this direct, this clear they had never stated it. Josh answered it with his lips, because he had never been good with words, and Jon understood him well. Both of them kept going although kissing with big grins were pretty hard as Tyler threw a "Get a room, guys!" their way. 

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"Jon, that's a once-in-a-lifetime chance! I just can't watch you give up your dream like that!" "If that dream requires being appart from you I galdly decline!" Throwing his hands in the air agitated Josh tried to give his standpoint more weight. "It's not forever! And I can visit you!" Not having any of it the singer stood cross armed leaned at their kitchen counter. "Joshua, we're not made for a long distance relationship, we've been there, we've done that and we haven't even lasted two weeks! There's no way I'm going on a six month tour without you!" "That doesn't count, I got ill!" "And if it wouldnt have been for you stuborn idiot nearly dying I would have been there two days later." 

Blinking surprised, feeling his temper cooling down a bit Josh stopped to run up and down the room then. "True story?" Nodding seriously his boyfriend sighed. "Yap, I had already booked the flight." It was hard to be mad at each other when they still found more hints of their love everyday, still Josh was determined not to let this argument go so easy. "I'll talk to Tyler, we can delay the record and I come with you to europe." Pushing himself off the counter, walking towards the drummer Jon slid his arms around his waist and catched his chin so he had to look at him. "I tell you exactly what we're going to do: I'm going to cancel that tour, you're going to record that album and when you're going on the road again I'll be with you. You're dream is more important then mine, Josh." 

Opening his mouth to protest the older had to swallow his reply as Jon cut him off and got on: "My carrer involves only me. Your's involves Tyler too. And he has been a way to good friend to the both of us to do that to him." 

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"Tyler?" "Hm?" "Do you ever feel like you're not worth it for Jenna to change her life for you?" "Are you kidding? I fall asleep and wake up to that thought every day!" "Is this ever getting easier?" "I don't think so. But that's love, they say." "You should change that one in Lane Boy on stage some time." "We don't do love songs." "We do Tear in my heart." "Do you want to do another one?" "Maybe." "Shall I write it?" "Nope." "Ok. Show me when you're ready and we'll work it out."

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"Cheers." "I'm not supposed to cheer you with a coke, Brendon!" "Who the fuck cares?" Taking a swing from his bottle the singer dropped on the table beside Josh. "Don't get me wrong, not that I love to spend time with my main man, but why didn't you bring Tyler in, I heared he is in LA." Flipping the can between his hands the drummer tried not to stutter out of nervousness. "Well...actually I hoped I can talk about something with you...get some advice..." Letting the bottle hit the desk with force Brendon sat up with speed and leaned across the plate, his whole face striken with anticipation. "Wow, a secret not even Tyo-boy knows? Now I'm interested! Hit me!" 

"Bren, listen, this is actually pretty serious. I'd appreciate it if you'd treat it like that." Pouting a bit but relaxing and giving him an a little worried look the singer nodded to signalise that he understood. "So..." not knowing where to put his eyes Josh settled on starring at a point on the wall beside the other, "...I wondered...as I know you had one or the other encounter with...well...guys..." He broke then for a moment and fiddled with his hands. "Ah...I wondered if you could give me some hints about..." "Jesus, just say it, you wanna know how to become a good bottom." Running red all over the drummer gasped, glarring at his laughing counterpart. 

"Dude, you should see your face!" Brendon snickered driving his fist down at the desk, but reigning himself in soon enough to snatch Joshs wrist, stop his attempt to leave and make him sit down again. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry Joshie, right, just chill a little! I thought you'd be used to a little dirty talk by now, but obviously Jon is still giving the gentleman for you." "Not everyone is into calling other people sluts." "Ouch. But regardless your lame insults...I get now why you don't talk to Tyler about this. He'd probably would have to bath in holy water afterwards or something." 

Growling lightly Josh took a gulp of his coke and sighed. "Will you help me now or not?" "What exactly do you wanna know?" "Good question." Trying to swallow his anxiety with another draw the drummer decided that he had nothing to loose. "Does it...hurt? Like...badly?" Struggling not to grin the singer focused on being the good older friend he was supposed to be. "You want the truth or the romantic version?" "Hm..both?" "Yes it does hurt, like hell. And yes it is fantastic once you get used too. Even more if you're with a person that actually loves you." "Right." Loosing his drive Josh was half glad that Brandon took over the conversation, half terrified of it. 

"Let me guess, Jon volunteered to let you fuck him because you felt not ready to?" Nodding wordlessly the drummer shifted his gaze again, still nervous and inwardly crincing. "So you basically know how it works, right?" Again a slight movement of a stubbled chin. "Ok, there are a few tips that might be helpful. As your an anxious litte emo just like me I guess you should try to get on your hands and knees." Inhaling sharply Josh started to regret asking. "No, wait, let me explain before you freak out, I'm actually serious!" Driving a hand through his hair Brendon straigthened a bit. "Ok, listen, boy, when I had my first time I was drunk and high and had no idea what I was doing. I let him take me on my back and freaked out because I felt like I had lost controll. This way you will have more...room to move if you need it." 

Giving this thought a chance Josh nodded. "Ok, what else?" "Don't try to impress him. Don't tell him it's ok to go on if it's not. I don't know Jon that much but I guess he's not the type of guy being so much into this that he enjoys to overrule you." Taking a swing of his beer Brendon got on. "Try to relax and don't forget to breathe...long deep breaths, just don't hold them." "Right. Ok. Thank you." "Josh?" "Yap?" "You know you don't need to do this for him, right? That guy seems to love you anyway."

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Placing one kiss after another along the olders spine Jon leaned in, stroking a strand of sweaty hair out of his boyfriends flushed face. "Are you ok? Do you want me to stop?" Inhaling and exhaling deeply Josh gave himself a minute to adjust, to get to used to the intense, overwhelming feeling before he ligthly shook his head, gasped in lack of the ability to speak. "No...just..slow, ok?" Planting another kiss on his neck the singer rightened up again and put controlled pressure in his action.

Feeling the resistence fade a little he pushed forward more, finally all the way before he stilled again and ran his hands over the others body, trying to sooth the trembling that had taken hold of him. "You're so beautiful...so gorgeous..." Jon muttered some praises, not sure if the drummer could even hear him or if he was in total concentration on the pain. Letting him time to speak up, but not waiting too long for the older to overthink this he cautiously started to move, only a little, only slight friction that caused sudden noises out of Joshs mouth. 

"Still ok?" Jon stopped, getting another nod as reassurance. Relaxing his all over strained muscles then a bit, allowing himself for the first time since the started this to actually enjoy the sensation he pulled back entirely, grabbed his boyfriends hips and made him turn, so he could face him. "I wanna see you. I wanna kiss you." And kissing the drummer was what he did, along with taking him to places he had never been before and gladly followed him to after the pain started to subside.

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"Hey Mark! Good to see you man! What a sick morning, isn't it?" Eying him suspicious the videographer hugged Josh as a greeting, but retreated quickly to stand at Tylers side, who leaned on a box sidestage and watched his best friend spreading hapiness and joy. "What's the deal with him?" Mark asked, pointing with his thumb over the shoulder at the drummer. "I'm not entirely sure..." Tyler stated, well knowing this might have been just a little too much information for the other, "but given the way he's glowing like a cheerleader after prom night I'd say he got laid."


	6. Chapter 6

Tipping the black and white picture a littlebit Joshs brain slowly catched up on what he had in his hands. His whole face lightning up with joy he looked up to meet Tylers proud smile. "Is that...yours?" The singer managed only a half nod before he was pulled in a hug that nearly chocked him. "That's so sick! When?" "In about a half year. She's into the third month now and already freaking about getting fat." Pressing his best friend another time to his chest Josh couldn't help but share a few tears. He knew this was one of the things Tyler always had dreamed about, one of the goals he wanted to achieve in life, and he felt nothing but joy that the younger was granted his wish by fate. 

"Josh...I know it's not really fair and you'll may be dissapointed...but I need to delay the record. I want to be with Jen every step of the way, not only part time. It's not like I'm giving up on the band, I just need to focus my energy on that for some time." "Dude, you have no idea how happy you just made me." 

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Sweden, Germany, Austria, France...Josh didn't really knew where they were currently, too much of his life he had spend traveling around, crossing the borders of too many countries in too less days. While he had felt lost a lot of times in the past this tour was different. Maybe it was the fact that he was not the one on stage this time, but he liked to think that it was the fact of his soul having found a home. When they had met each other Tyler and him had talked about their concepts of life, about what was love, fear, death for them. 

The drummer could remember how his younger self had told his best friend that the concept of home was not linked to a certain place for him, more to certain persons. Now, years later, he found himself approved in his opinion. Sitting crosslegged in the pit of an outdoor venue, watching Jon soundcheck had so much become his safeplace that he had to actually hold himself from just yelling his hapiness out. His boyfriend seemed to recognise his buzzing mood, as he jumped from stage right after the soundcheck ended and strolled over to him, offering his hand to pull the drummer up by his wrist. "Ready for a little adventure?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestivly and nodded in direction of the small hill behind the stage. "Let's get up there!" 

It took them about 20 minutes to reach the top, but it weren't a too high price for the beautiful view and the feeling of freedom as they stood in the slight blowing wind, enjoying suns warmly peace. Leaning into the touch as Jon embraced him from behind, hid his face in his neck for a moment Josh closed his eyes and send a prayer, just from gratitute, without a distinct reason. "I've been thinking a lot lately." the singer hummed along his ear then, tracing it with his nose, leaving a tickling, warming feeling there. "About us an how far we've come and where we will go." Not opening his eyes, just linking their fingers above his stomache Josh tried to hold on to the moment.

"And I found..." leaning his front on the back of his boyfriends head Jon sighed, "that it doesn't matter. Everything that matters is the very moment I am in with you. Every single second, every breath you take alongside me." Handing themselfs over to the dance of the air around them they stood in silence and felt their souls melting even more.

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Josh didn't even understand the half of what Tyler said, but the few words he got were enough for him to shift in action. Somewhen along the lines of "too early" and "lost so much blood" he started to frantically throw his personal belongings into a bag, firing up his laptop to book the next flight available. "I'm coming over as fast as I can, Ty! Just...hold on...she's strong, she'll make it, I'm sure!" The sobbed answer ripped something in him, he couldn't name it, but it hurt much. "I'm so scared, Joshua! I...I don't know what I'll do if I loose them..." "I'm on my way! I'll be there! Please...just hold on!" 

Throwing his phone at the couch with a curse Josh turned then and faced his boyfriend, who had entered during the conversation, stood wide eyed in the aisle before him. "Is it Jenna?" Feeling tears shooting up his eyes, rage and anxiety mixing the drummer nodded. "A drunken driver hit their car. Jen lost a lot of blood, they had to induce labour." The greyness on Jons face mirrored his own feelings and Josh had never been so thankfull for having someone to lean on. "Oh my gosh...I'm so sorry...it's...she still had three months to go, right?" Squeezing his boyfriends neck lightly Jon drew back. "They say it's not sure if she or the kid will survive. They might die both." "When is your flight going?" "Today evening." "Ok, I'll drive you." "You got a show to do." "The show can wait. Life won't."

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Like a little glimpse of hope the bundle of life lay in the glassy cube. Josh had been shocked how many tubes could fit into such a small body, how such a fragile little thing could even move. It broke his heart over and over to watch Tylers son fighting for his life, still he didn't turn his back on it. They took turns in watching Jenna and the kid, so his friend could be with both of them and yet none of them were alone at all times. When they switched Josh made sure to concede some minutes to just hold the other close, soak up his sadness, let him cry. It was a cliche that someone could run out of tears, he learned. 

All the more striken with joy he was when Tyler smiled for the first time again. Holding the drummers hand so thight he couldn't feel it anymore, they waited together for the machines being stopped, and Jenna did breath on her own, just like the doctor had expected. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was like the first night they had ever spent with each other, just hours of kissing, of drinking in each others presence, of no need of sexuality as closeness was the thing they lacked the most. Softly blowing air into the shell of his boyfriends ear Jon retraced all the lines he knew so well, he hadn't been able to walk on for so long. "I can practically hear you thinking." he sighed after there was no reaction at all. Giving him a small kiss, followed by a smile Josh voiced his worries. "I feel like I'd abandon him." "Joshua, you lived with Tyler for two months now. You don't need to feel guilty for taking a down time." "And he will be fine right? With Benjamin home and his mom helping him around he'll at least be able to settle more." 

Letting his lips wander over the drummers eyebrows, his lids, down his cheeks to his lips Jon pulled him back into their moment of peace. "Life is so fucking fragile." Josh stated, the profanity perfectly fitting the truth. "It is. That's why you totally should make out with your super hot boyfriend right now." Chuckling the older turned to his side and layed a hand on the singers cheek, tracing his lips with his thumb. "If I'd ask you if you want to spend the rest of your life with me, would you say yes?" Rolling on top of him Jon crossed his arms and starred down at the drummer with a fake innocent expression. "ARE you asking?" "Yes. I am." 

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A picture of misery hit them when the door opened. Tyler were not only pale and had dark circles surrounding his eyes, one of his shoulders where drapped in vomitted milk and the other decorated with a crying baby. Josh felt a deep wave of empathy as his friends face dropped as he saw the two of them and he just started to cry, reliefed to finally being able to have a mental breakdown as help where in sight. Exchaning a short glance they went into action then. Jon carefully took Benjamin out of his fathers arms and vanished into the livingroom, door closing behind him. Josh steered Tyler up the stairs, pushed him into the bathroom, helped him strip, shower and redress and then forced him to ly down. It took two weak protests of the singer and ten minutes until he was deep asleep.

Tugging the sheets over him Josh went back downstairs then, where silence had taken over as well. He found his boyfriend in the livingroom, with his back to him on the window, holding a clear crystal Jenna must have bought for decoration in the sun. The light broke in the stone and painted different colours on the ceiling. Lying in his arms, eyes wide of wonder Benjamin starred at them, gave chortling noises. "That's alright buddy, they are really beautiful. You know what's beautiful too? Your uncle Josh. He's so awesome, you'll love him so much when you get older! He's daddys best friend, you know? Your dad is awesome too...and don't get me started about your mother...." 

Hiding behind the corner Josh pressed himself into the wall and tried to let his breath not come too loudly, listening to the love of his life talking.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"...and here you go." Cautiously handing their son over to Jenna Tyler sat down on the bed beside her. After nearly three months in the hospital she had finally been asigned to go home. Still the blonde needed a lot of help and some of the traces of their near tragedy would never fade from her face, but in that very moment the world seemed just perfect. Both looking on the scene entranced for a minute Josh and Jon broke away then, leaving Tyler to come to peace with his little family. They just were ready to back their car as he appeared behind them, smiling with tears in his eyes, hugging both of them thightly. 

Smacking the drummer on his forehead he gave him: "I'm so glad you found yourself such a great boyfriend." to which Josh replied, "Well, he's not my boyfriend anymore." Looking at them startled the singers expression fell. "No...guys...you can't do that! You're so perfect together! You can't break up!" "Who' talking of break ups?" Jon blended in, slunging his arm around his better halfs neck. "I'm his fiance now."

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The rings where as simple as everything they had done from the beginning, so was the ceremony. They had never needed a big production to feel fine, all that they had needed where to find each other. The greatest love storys don't always require love at first sight. The greatest are the one's who grow. Josh understood that, when he closed his eyes that night, when he knew that, if his life would end in this very moment, he could say he had reached the highest level, the greatest thing a human being could long for: A soul to talk to, a mind to live with and a heart that's beat reassambled his own.


End file.
